I woke up with a start at 3 a.m. last night. I have woken up at 3 a.m. every night for the last week. I have thusly developed a new routine. I get up, lumber out to the kitchen, get a glass of water from my new refrigerator door – it’s really cool and the water tastes delish – wander around the house for a bit, chat with my 21-year-old, party-girl daughter if she’s home, and then head back to squeeze in among my three Boston Terriers, and pray for some more REM sleep so I’ll feel human in the morning. Wanna know why I have engaged in this habit and ritual? The reason is that I finished my book on the day of the night this all started. That’s right – finished my book: Why I Hate to Date Online. I think my issue now is grief. Grief and terror. Grief sprouts from the fact that I have reached the end of what has absorbed me for 3 ½ months. Doesn’t seem like a long time to write a book, but this one simply flowed from some previously unbeknownst cavity in my brain. I truly loved every minute of “the process,” and am terribly sad it’s over. Then, the terror! I am talking major performance anxiety. A less-than-three-finger-few have read it, and thus far, I am a wreck second-guessing their TRUE feelings and opinions. Of course there is the lip service thing, but what do they REALLY think?? Even more important is what YOU are going to really think! After all, you are number 1! You are the customer! And I aim to please.

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Tags: book, Book done, dating, grief, online dating, terror

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