If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard someone say, “If only …”

If only he would do this, if only she wouldn’t nag, if only he would get a different job, if only she wore more stylish clothes.

Stop!

Every time you do that, I want you to take whatever you were “if only-ing” and turn it on yourself:

• If only I didn’t get upset when he does this
• If only I could turn a deaf ear to her nagging
• If only I could get a different job
• If only I could appreciate her for who she is.

Do you get it? More relationships are ruined when one or both parties become totally embroiled with “fixing” or nagging the other party. Ironically, this type of fixation is only indicative of the nagging party’s dysfunction as opposed to anything wrong with the person whose targeted.

So, boys and girls, if you find yourself harping on, criticizing or otherwise harassing your partner, go look in the mirror, take a personal inventory, and fix yourself, not him or her. And, if you are on the receiving end of this kind of dysfunctional focus, my advice is to drop the dude or dolly and seek out a healthier liaison.
Okay, folks, I’m done grousing for now. I’ve got my armored vest on, so fire away!!